Trying to get home from the bar to Graham was a bit of a struggle. The ride was the easy part, as my girlfriend Jennifer Eldridge was there. It was trying to convince her to leave the bar at that moment, was the hard part. “Your finally free for a night from him, enjoy it”, she kept saying. I kept repeating myself, “that’s why I have to go home, it doesn’t make sense to me.”
It wasn’t until a man ( a stranger) offered me a ride, before Jennifer said , ” Okay, Okay, Let me go to the bathroom first”.
When we pulled into the driveway I told Jennifer to shut down her headlights and when I get out just leave, please. After Jennifer left I stood there in the dark driveway staring at the front door. Wondering if I should sneak in and surprise Graham or if I should be loud to let him know I was home. I went with the loud approach. I kicked at the door twice (not to loud, didn’t want to piss the upstairs people off) then went to turn the knob to walk in and it was locked. I lost my house keys weeks prior, so I was confused to why he had locked the door. I knocked repeatedly before I saw a dark silhouette moving towards the back door. As I squinted to see better, I cupped both my hands to both sides of my face, and pressed my face closer to the window, just in time to see the back door open and the outside light lit up the silhouette to a full mental picture of my sister half dressed exiting. It took a few much louder kicks and yells at the door before Graham decided to get up and let me in. When he opened the door he was so smooth, relaxed, and denied all emotions. I on the other hand when in fist flying, tears rolling, and swearing like a truck drivers daughter (which I am).
Graham simply stood there ducking and not saying or engaging in anything I had to say or do. Like he knew it was going to happen eventually. After a few minutes he just picked me up and walked me outside to place me beside the stairs. “Why” was the last words I said to Graham that night before clasping to the ground sobbing. He simply crouched beside me and said “because I was pathetic and worthless”.
I was so confused and hurt. It was Christmas Eve. and I just lost my man, his kids, my sister, and another home all in one night.. Christmas Eve Night..
To Be Continued…..