Living with Jason wasn’t easy but to me was the highlight (at that time) of my life for a short time. Of course it didn’t take a long time of living together before we were sleeping in the same bed. I was just 17 and he was 21. His drink of choice was whiskey, which my stomach couldn’t handle. My drink of choice was beer, but Jason got me pretty reliable on the vodka theory of making everything better.
My mother hated us being together, didn’t mind Jason, just hated him with me. After about 4 months of being together our fights got physical and being sober was an illusion of the past. Jason was a very controlling man and a very jealous one at that. I was a very defiant young girl who felt fueling his anger was enthusing and satisfying. For example, Not long after I turned 18, I took a pregnancy test that resulted in a positive reading. He was happy at first (It was morning), but when the alcohol took hold of him his anger was so elevated I thought he was going to hurt me bad. He hit some walls, screamed in my face, and explained exactly what he thought of me at that moment in time. I was sitting on the couch crying not saying much, but I remember the anger and explosiveness I felt rising in my gut. I don’t remember being happy about the pregnancy, I do remember feeling confused and Jason didn’t help any. It was when he grabbed my face and yelled with spit flying, ” What the fuck were you thinking?” that I responded. I pushed his hand from my face, ran to the bedroom and grabbed his hunting rifle. I pointed it at him and said, ” Don’t ever, ever, touch me again. I’m not sure it is your anyways”. My adrenaline was so peaked, I don’t know but I really could of shot him, but I didn’t. All he said was, “you fucking whore” and walked out of the house.
I knew it was Jason’s, I don’t know why I said that except to infuriate him more than he already was. When the dust settled and he didn’t come home for a few days, he called and wanted to talk. We smoothed it over some, but I assured him I wasn’t having an abortion, and I didn’t cheat. My drinking didn’t stop while I was pregnant but it slowed down a lot, Jason’s picked up more and more by the day.
To Be Continued…